The Fall Out....

What have we been doing since going through the past year's challenges? How can we transition into the "new normal"? I wish I had the answer. I found a secluded spot to kayak over to so I can take time to think, to process, to plan and to enjoy solitude. I never tire of the Charleston Harbor. The water represents life: choppy at times, calm other times, up and down...

The summer was really spent working as much as I possibly could to get caught up and before I knew it school was starting back. Bruce is focused on getting stronger and physically fit now that he is finished with all treatments. He is so strong and he is always looking forward, never back. I must be honest and say that I process everything after it is over. I have given myself a lot of time to think and pray over all that occured last year. To digest having a new middle schooler, a new high schooler, a Senior with prom, graduation and all that comes with it, and with Bruce and his illness. I am forever thankful we had so much help and support. I am also blessed to have strong faith instilled in me by my mother. I have felt very introspective over the past months, fighting the urge to try to get caught up on everything we put aside last year. I found a wonderful blog that I am enjoying www.bowlfulloflemons.com. I am working on getting the house organized and it is just a fun blog with good ideas. Our life last year was filled with such serious issues, it is now time to "lighten up" and get back to enjoying the small pleasures. Therefore, for me, I love to organize the house. I will begin to post backwards and share some of the amazing times we had with relatives this past summer!

Making my way back,
Joanne

So much has happened in our lives, I do not know where to start, how to express my thoughts and feelings, which is why I have not blogged in so long. How do I explain that I am a person who experiences a delayed reaction to stressful events? How do I explain that while I am going through difficult times, I can persevere, but when they end, I only then begin to process the events and feel the complete range of emotions that emcompass the entire journey? Maybe it is all the years of working in critical care, maybe it is all the years my siblings and I were exposed to high stress situations; I am not sure. I do know this: I could feel the unravelling beginning in May and continuing as time progressed. The emotions have been suffocating, but a necessary part of ending a long journey. We celebrated life events, birthdays, high school graduation, having wonderful family in town, yet it all seems like a blur to me. I was unable to truly embrace and enjoy it to the fullest extent.  Yes, I am thankful for the blessings. Yes, I am sad that I have been overwhelmed at a time that I would love to be just enjoying and living in the moment....I am sure God placed all the amazing family & friends around us the first week of summer to help us through the last leg of our journey. For where I was stressed, they were calm, where I was anxious, they were laughing and lifting me up. Where I was overwhelmed, they had a plan and a way to pull it all together. Thank you to everyone who has been there this entire time for our family. Bruce is completing his final chemotherapy, he has an appointment to get his Port-A-Cath removed. I feel like we have been running a marathon this year, and we are finally reaching the finish line. Personally, I want to thank all who understood when I was up, when I was down, when I was impatient, when I was distant or when I just needed to talk.

Earnestly,
Joanne

Turning 18!( from April 16th...)

This is a BIG birthday for parents, really it is. I was not prepared for the flood of emotions evoked by the first child who turns 18 in the house....Morgan chose California Dreaming to have her dinner on her birthday. She and Matt went in the boat and met us there. We waited until the last minute to plan, so we could see how Bruce felt. Well, he was sure able to enjoy a wonderful dinner and we all had so much fun. We laughed, we cried, we ate, and almost melted her cake with the 18 candles!

This year, our family from Kentucky is coming to Charleston for vacation. I thought of you all and cannot wait to take you all to some of the beautiful restaurants on the water, go boating, enjoy the beach and downtown area! Enjoy the pictures.
Joanne

humility

Why do I have these dinner pictures followed by the disheveled picture of me on the phone? Well, they are not in the correct order...you see, the top pictures represent one of my favorite quotes: "Begin with the end in mind...."

I woke up one weekend feeling very down. One of those days...and I wanted to have a pity party, I really did. I planned to. I was having my coffee on the deck and feeling sorry for myself. Then, I thought, I can't do this, I can't go down this road...I need some inspiration. So I decided to call my friend, Saralyn. Saralyn is experiencing a lot of challenges right now. She is a strong Christian and a very smart person. I did call her, and I poured out my heart to her. I said something like "we should just go somewhere fun and get away..." She did the most wonderful thing a friend can do; she let me know just how much she cared. So much, that she let me know that NO we cannot run from our problems, our family, not even for a moment, not even emotionally, not at all. She encouraged me to run to them, towards all the emotions, the stress, the angers, and to give it all to God. He certainly is strong enough, large enough and more than able to take it all from us.

Thank you friend....the photos of the family happily eating dinner on the patio- I took your advice. God did the rest....He encouraged me and guided me to cook a wonderful dinner, and create a peaceful place right on my patio to serve my favorite people.  In essence, we CAN do all things through Christ!

Joanne

The blessings of boys, and brothers.....

When I reflect on my boys, many things come to mind.....boating, risk taking, sports, music, building, creating, tools....life is very interesting with boys! They challenge you to try new things, they invite you to take risks. I love the blessing of having both genders, and I revel in the uniqueness each brings to our lives. I discovered a love of boating and the water with Matt. I have the joy of the piano and cello with Michael. They are constantly trying new things, keeping me on my toes, and leading us into exploring new places and hobbies.

So many people have asked "what can I do to help" now that Bruce is not as active as he usually is? I am concerned about the boys not having their father ready to accompany them on the boat, or a camping trip. I am concerned about Matt, being 15, and in need of mentoring. God, of course, provides everything we need. I always admired my brother, Chris. We were never as close as I was with my sisters. He is a wonderful father,husband, and brother. Anyone reading this who knows him, is aware that he has a magnetic personality, that just draws others to him. God steered my family into a home right accross Harvorview Road from his family a little more than a year ago.We have strengthened our relationship with each other and our families.   We love his family! It has been a huge blessing to all of us. We are constantly back and forth, the boys playing, sharing meals, fun times, and lots and lots of laughter.

"What can I do for Bruce?" Chris asked me. I told him exactly what was needed: mentor the boys. Mentor the boys the way he does his own. He is a strong role model. He has reached out in so many ways to them. He takes Michael shopping to staples & lowes, because he knows Michael loves to go. He goes out on the boat with Matt, invites him camping with his son, and never seems too busy to take time with them.

So, Bruce can relax and take the time to rest during this round of chemotherapy. He can rest assured that God has once again, placed the perfect person, at the perfect time, in our path.

Enjoy your boys today. Love them for their boundless energy, their sense of adventure, their fearlessness.....

Happy Easter!

Joanne

P.S.

And, for anyone wondering how Bruce is doing....well, he is really really feeling the effects of the chemotherapy this time. He is asleep on the sofa, as I blog. He went to church today, but had to leave a little bit early. He is not one to complain, he is still smiling, but he is suffering, I can tell.

Bruce went back to work today, I am so happy that he is moving forward. He is healing. ONE more round of chemotherapy, and we will be celebrating healing! He is getting out and going places again. He will be able to attend Morgan's graduation, enjoy having his relatives from Kentucky in town this summer, he has been very blessed. We are eternally grateful for all who joined us in prayer, supported us in so many ways for so many monthes. We have strengthened relationships, deepened relationships, grown stronger and closer to God and each other. So, although we would not have chosen this path, it has been a blessing in many ways.

Joanne

Bruce landscaped this pathway for me. I envisioned a pathway to  highlight the tree, and Bruce found a way to do it. Then our friends, the Rollins, installed lighting in the tree. It is so beautiful, now, day & night. It provides a canopy over the patio and I love to sit out there at night listening to 80's music and relaxing. This weekend I sat out there, as I always do on the weekend. My thoughts were of Liz & Joshua Miller. I thought a lot about Liz, so young, so sweet, now left to raise their beautiful children. I, like so so many, have been praying for her so much. I did not know Joshua well, however, he and Liz were the first 2 people I connected with when we joined Seacoast church, and they made an indellible mark on my life.

I felt confused and guilty when we decided to leave Catholicism, and join Seacoast. It was an entirely different way of worshipping. One Sunday, during response time, I was grappling with our decision and I decided to go to the back and pray with the prayer team. There was Joshua & Liz, half my age, so young, yet so sincere. I poured out my heart to them; they listened and prayed for me. I was immediately blindsided by how deep and how far along in their faith they were. I continued to pray with them Sunday, after Sunday, each time coming away stronger, with a clearer vision of what God wanted for our family. They were so kind and giving. I will never forget that.....

Now I am praying for Liz. My heart aches for her and her loss. I know her strong faith will carry her. If you have encountered someone who has impacted your life, please share that with them. Seeing Joshua's life end so abruptly reminds us all how short our time here is.

Blessings,
Joanne