The beginning

Tomorrow while most are still asleep Bruce and I will head to MUSC for the docs, once again, to put Bruce asleep....a minor surgery before radiation starts next week. The kids will get up and the coffee and breakfast will not be waiting as usual, they will be fine because they are so much older, but it will feel different for all of us. It is different because treatment is now underway. We have had butterflies in our stomaches. We have felt the uncertainty of anticipating change, we have been wearing our Blue for Bruce bracelets and praying a lot. But tomorrow we board the train and really start our journey. Tonight we are enjoying our Wednesday night shows and my co workers are generously planning and preparing the dinner they promised us tomorrow. They are feeding our family and I am so grateful. Tonight we will read one of the notes we received from family and friends.

God's peace,
Joanne

Being Strong & Walking in Faith...

Thank you for all of your prayers. Your prayers are the reason we are feeling strong, happy, and still enjoying life with the children. We continued our Clemson and Citadel football tradition, boating to clear our heads, and we are smiling and believing that God has His hand in this and will cure Bruce. We will begin our 10 days of prayer tomorrow, as planned, and will certainly feel secure and comforted by all who will be joining us. We are rejoicing tonight after meeting with Dr. Esnaola, MUSC Oncology Center. It was, by far, the first encouraging visit we have had. He is confident that with chemotherapy, radiation & his surgical skill level, that Bruce will be cured. We have a bumpy road ahead, but for the first time, we exited the visit with renewed hope and spirit. We thank YOU ALL who have prayed, encouraged, sent letters, cards, texts, and facebook messages to us; all are cherished.

God Bless,
Joanne

Tears

It happened today. I have been expecting it and waiting for it. The tears fell over and over today. I let the grief wash over me. I cried for Bruce and the suffering I know is coming for him, I cried for myself and the pain of seeing your loved one hurting, I cried for our beautiful children, I cried for the loss of our carefree days, and I cried for the raw pain deep in my heart mixed with fear and anticipation of what is coming. I am thankful for feeling and loving. I am thankful that I will be surrounded by family this weekend. I am thankful for our strong faith.

It is late and now I am ready. I am ready to find a way to be strong for Bruce and for our children. I can do hard things,Bruce can do hard things;we

have done them in the past. I realize today, I have to let go, relinquish this, so God can take this from me. So I am letting go...knowing that He is reaching out, grasping this trial and beginning to transform it from tragedy, to triumph....

Support

/I am already amazed at Gods hand in Bruce's illness. Our family is beginning a journey of unknown proportion and unknown destination; being led through darkness hoping and praying to be brought into the light with renewed strength and faith.... We already have so many who have joined us on the journey, so we are not alone; so many lighting the pathway with glimmers of hope and light.

God works through his followers to make sure we are all taken care of. Our family's hearts are full of gratitude and strengthened by the outpouring we have received from so many. Our children, including Rhena, who have quietly picked up extra chores around the house to lighten the load...who have continued to work hard in school and are giving extra smiles and hugs.
Every Facebook entry with a kind words of support and encouragement, every card received with handwritten messages,every  text  received with words of encouragement, prayers said for Bruce, food cooked by friends, so many acts of kindness by so many who are so busy with their own jobs, families, commitments and lives. So much giving to us from those with their own burdens to bear,  their own stressors. 

Know that every prayer is received and treasured, every kind work,every smile, text, facebook post, card, hug, meal prepared- all are equally treasured and equally appreciated more than you know.  We expect nothing, we know many who love and care are incapable of reaching out and we understand All of you have lightened the load, fed our souls  and helped  with the journey. All of you have dispursed sparks of light along the way and reminded us of God's constant presence. Rest in knowing that all who have reached out to our family, have already done enough, we are already strengthened, we are well equipped for what lies ahead, and we are here for you as well to help you all on your journey

God bless,
Joanne & family

In sickness and in health....

Life throws you curves. They come when you least expect them, they come at times you feel are not convenient, but they come; that is life. Curves make you a stronger person, they force you to stop and regroup, to cling to your family, to call on your friends. Most importantly, curves steer you back to God. We pray our deepest prayers during the difficult times, we depend on the only one we can to carry us through and turn bad news into something good: God.
Although he is with us through it all, through all the good, even when we are too busy enjoying life to pray like we should, he is still right with us. I feel strong right now. There will be days soon when I will feel weak,discouraged, sad...I will worry and fret, I will lean on my family and friends...I will pray deep prayers. I am thankful for faith, I am thankful that God chose for me to be a nurse and the wife of Bruce. I am honored to help Bruce through his illness. I am optimistic and sure that God is in control, as always, guiding us. So to anyone who asks what they can do to help: pray, pray deep and pray often. Enjoy every day, keep smiling, keep going and we will to.
Blessings,
Joanne

Missing Julie.....

Have you ever met someone who makes you feel so good about who you are, someone who constantly recognizes your strengths, someone who lights up the room? Then you have met someone like my sister,Julie. She was beautiful inside and out, but seemed oblivious to her own beauty, too busy acknowledging the beauty of those around her. She gave and gave....she adored her children and talked about them constantly.

Sisters. Four sisters interwoven so tightly in each others lives; deeply rooted in each others hearts as a result of a traumatizing childhood. Dependent on each other for unconditional love, guidance, and reassurance. Growing up, sharing a room, sharing clothes and secrets, sharing weddings, pregnancies, adoptions, and the trials and joys of raising our children. We laughed, cried, complained,& rejoiced together. We had bragging rights on our children,s accomplishments and an unspoken pledge of complete trust in each other. Like a quilt sewn together and softened by years of comforting use, we were comfortable and secure in our closeness.

Torn apart. Her family, her husband, her children, her coworkers, her friends....like dominos falling one by one, as the word of her death saturated her community, the pain was unbearable.
Too young, just finishing graduate school, just secured a job as a Rehab Counsellor. What happened, how did it unfold, so many unanswered questions that still haunt all of us today. We may never know what happened and all of us who were close to her spend tortuous amounts of time trying to figure it out.

Finding closure. We are all still seeking peace and closure about Julie. On this Labor Day weekend, which marks five years since her arrival to be with Jesus, we can celebrate her life and be so thankful that God gave us the GIFT of Julianne Marie Hendricks Lee; she brought Lindsey and Warren into the world, she touched countless lives with her joy and love, she was a wife, mother, sister, friend, counsellor. She exemplified Christ with her unconditional love .
Love you,sister, miss you. I believe you left us each better persons, just by having known and loved you.

Blessings,
Joanne

Sending Julie our messages.....

The Beauty of Girls........

I grew up with sisters, 3 of them & we were so close and still are. I always wanted a daughter and I am blessed with my beautiful Morgan. I am equally blessed with 2 sons, but this post is about girls....I have been spending time with Morgan and my niece Rhenabeth the last few weeks. They look like sisters and have warmed my heart with their unabashed affection and zest for life. We've hardly spent a dime, yet I have felt richly lavished with joy, laughter, a sense of fashion and wonderment. They make life fun and of course capture every moment of it with pictures and comments written on facebook. How they have taught me through their eyes and ways how to embrace each moment and be spontaneous. Yesderday, as I led them through college campuses in the sweltering Charleston heat, they did not complain, not once; instead they smiled, giggled, took pictures, asked questions and commented on the campuses, the beauty of the rod iron gates and architecture of College of Charleston. We window shopped in the high fashion shops on King Street, they played on the expensive software at the Apple Store and savored a simple salad and pizza at the Mellow Mushroom. Although I set out ready to educate them on colleges, as the day progressed, I was the one who received an education: I saw the simple pleasures through their eyes, I tasted pizza again, I saw the power of a smile,I felt the warmth of a hug, I saw the colors of fashion, I heard sound of laughter in the heat, the faces of two beautiful young girls with an entire world of opportunities and experiences waiting for them to dive into. Enjoy the pictures and bask in the glow of their smiles,
Blessings,
Joanne