Sisters, and second chances

Me and my sisters (miss you Julie)

Last year, when my sister Jeannie came in town, we had a heart to heart sister talk. Not unusual for us; we have always had a deep close relationship. I confided in her that I had always felt sad at Christmas time, all my life from my earliest memory of the holiday. Sure, every year I shopped, baked, decorated, smiled, sang and laughed with my family, however, there was a deep rooted feeling of sadness in my heart. We looked back together over the holiday memories when we were growing up. We unleashed painful memories of a poor family, a mentally ill father who was often at his worst during Christmas, of
a mother who tried to build traditions,give gifts on a meager budget, of cold nights without heat and long days without transportation. She allowed the raw pain and bitterness to be expressed without guilt, without judging. She told me to imagine the Christmas I would have wanted to be given, and create it for myself, for my children and family. I let go of all the pain, all the guilt, all the bitterness that year and started over; for myself, for my family, for all who have ever lived with the hardship that having a family member with severe mental illness have endured. I let Christ come and pour His light into my life. So this Christmas season is monumental for me; I am free for the first time and truly happy this season. I am praying for those who are lonely, sick or in any pain. I know the liberation healing the soul can bring and now I am praying for this healing to reach out to others...

My sisters and I have always been close, interwoven into each others lives, drawing strength from each other. I am not surprised that a sister was able to open my heart to Christmas. It is never too late to heal, it is never to late to start over, maybe that is what the birth of Jesus has shown me....second chances

So here we are on Christmas Eve at T Bonz, feasting, laughing and enjoying life after church. Here is my new life with Bruce and our beautiful children. I am thankful, so thankful...

Enjoy the holiday

Joanne