Monday, June 18, 2012

So much has happened in our lives, I do not know where to start, how to express my thoughts and feelings, which is why I have not blogged in so long. How do I explain that I am a person who experiences a delayed reaction to stressful events? How do I explain that while I am going through difficult times, I can persevere, but when they end, I only then begin to process the events and feel the complete range of emotions that emcompass the entire journey? Maybe it is all the years of working in critical care, maybe it is all the years my siblings and I were exposed to high stress situations; I am not sure. I do know this: I could feel the unravelling beginning in May and continuing as time progressed. The emotions have been suffocating, but a necessary part of ending a long journey. We celebrated life events, birthdays, high school graduation, having wonderful family in town, yet it all seems like a blur to me. I was unable to truly embrace and enjoy it to the fullest extent.  Yes, I am thankful for the blessings. Yes, I am sad that I have been overwhelmed at a time that I would love to be just enjoying and living in the moment....I am sure God placed all the amazing family & friends around us the first week of summer to help us through the last leg of our journey. For where I was stressed, they were calm, where I was anxious, they were laughing and lifting me up. Where I was overwhelmed, they had a plan and a way to pull it all together. Thank you to everyone who has been there this entire time for our family. Bruce is completing his final chemotherapy, he has an appointment to get his Port-A-Cath removed. I feel like we have been running a marathon this year, and we are finally reaching the finish line. Personally, I want to thank all who understood when I was up, when I was down, when I was impatient, when I was distant or when I just needed to talk.

Earnestly,
Joanne